Friday, August 12, 2011

My Crafty Shame--Part 2

When your second grader says, "Mom, that is what I call STYLISH," you know your project belongs in the garbage.

And that is exactly what happened when I covered a lampshade with fabric this past weekend.

Here is the lamp in its uncrafted and un-crapped-up state:

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It's really fine. I wish I had left it fine. Where is that time machine I saw laying around? About five minutes after that pic was taken, there was no turning back.

The lamp and shade combo are about 10 years old, and I am frankly bored with the white. Plus it's a little dingy and a little dented and could use a little pizazz. What I *really* wanted was a gorgeous black drum shade. I thought it would be such a sophisticated, contrasting pop against the white walls of the foyer, where this lamp lives. Unfortunately, I fought my instincts and decided to go crafty and cheap.

Do you sense a theme? Yes, after back-to-back attempts at crafty and cheap resulting in humiliating and expensive (relatively, for fabric) mistakes, I've learned my lesson. When you have a vision for something, just save up and buy the thing--or a knock-off of the thing--you really want, unless you are a bona fide crafter, which, hey, you may be. I think crafty people know they are crafty, and posers like me know their limitations. And if I didn't last weekend, I do now--history being the best predictor of the future and all that cliched whatever.

If you need a wall repaired with joint compound or weeds whacked to hell and back out of an overgrown yard, I'm your girl. Otherwise, call my friend Stephanie :)

For your entertainment, I present pics of the shade gone bad.

(1) To the lamp-covering tutorial creators on the interwebz: Sure, your guidance worked great... if my lamp were preparing to walk down the aisle on her wedding day.

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(2) And how about those seams, eh? No one has a good solution for this. The best that I can find is don't use a patterned fabric so the country-come-to-town hideousness isn't as obvious. Probably good advice in the end.

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This weekend, we don't have much going on. I am planning a few projects, but I need to take my time and think through the details so I don't waste money, embarrass myself, and then seek absolution from blog readers.

As that lamp goes, I am reinvigorated to find just the right [store-bought] shade to complement it. Redemption is mine.

9 comments:

  1. You know, your brother is kinda crafty...

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  2. Dollar General has lamp shades...just sayin'. ;-)

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  3. Angie, for real?! FOR REALLY REAL? I am totally going this weekend! :D <3

    Matthew--crafty like a fox, maybe :D

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  4. Hey! Yea, that's true, but I'm artistic. Remember I went to that artsy boarding school. I painted a box and put flowers in it. It only took two semesters and like 16 meetings to get accomplished. :D

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  5. I don't understand what's wrong with the lamp shade. (?) (This coming from a perfectionist. For real.)

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  6. Mel, it's just ugly is all :D

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  7. Angie, I stopped by one DG this past weekend. They only had white shades with bright polka dots. They were actually very cute. I guess they were stocked up for the dorm scene. Learn something new every day! Thanks for the tip :)

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  8. I bet it looks perfectly fine if you keep the seam to the wall, silly. ;)

    But not now that's it's in the trash, I guess. Actual trash is just trashy.

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  9. Ha, well you aren't talking about me I hope unless you want a knitted lampshade.... hmmmm.....

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